I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
