508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
