please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
