its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize