Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
