Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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