she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
