Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
