I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
