So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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