When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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