They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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