Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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