your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
