I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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