Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize