is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Randomize
