I am in a vortex of obligation.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
two words...techno handjob
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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