And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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