That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
