i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
