I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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