at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
