Don't make out with my wife yet
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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