Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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