I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
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Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
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I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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