i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
