No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize