There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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