I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
