she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize