I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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