Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
