Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
