i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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