My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
