I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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