I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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