her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
