Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
