Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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