Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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