Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
