Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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