Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
