so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
