Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
