so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
