is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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