what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Fuck appropriateness.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
