I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
