North Korea, Best Korea!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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