he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
