Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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