He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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