Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Who died my cat blue again?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
