Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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