You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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