I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
