Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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